EXPLICIT/GRAPHIC WARNING: TRIGGER WARNING! This video is part of the Born in Hell Video series regarding the abuse I suffered as a child at the hands of my parents and a sibling. This video details the CSA, Child Sexual Abuse and Incest I was forced to endure from 8 to 9 years old. This video is EXPLICIT and GRAPHIC and I advise that you watch at your own discretion. The topics of child abuse and child sexual abuse can make people very uncomfortable and can trigger survivors of abuse. Please make the right decision for yourself. I do not go into too many graphic details on this video, my book "One Child Abuse Survivor 2 Another: The Journey" is detailed and explicit and adult material for adults only. In this video I shared my pain, physical as well as emotional and spiritual pain that the CSA/incest caused. I was already shutting down and closing myself off because of the previous 7 years of abuse at the hands of my parents and the dysfunction I was forced to be a part of. The child sexual abuse finished me off. I felt dead at this time, and could not understand why my mom did not get me help when I disclosed that my brother Rob had been doing things to me at night and was hurting me. My mother explained that it was my problem and not hers and turned a blind eye and a blind ear and allowed my 21 year old brother Rob to rape me over a period of 10 months. I developed a bad infection from the damage to my body and found out at age 21 after a gynaecology check up, that the damage done from the CSA had made me barren and even with reconstructive surgery, I would probably never become pregnant or ever be able to carry a child. I was told this at the age of 18 years old after I had a bad car accident, but I was in shock from the accident and did not care at that point if I lived or died, so I just stuffed that information back into "the drawer" so I wouldn't have to deal with it. The CSA/incest scarred me for life and at this time at 8 years old I could not let anyone touch me, and could not allow anyone to get close to me. I carried this into my adult years and it is still a part of me today although I have made great progress in my healing journey since May 22, 2007. Prior to this date, I was contemplating suicide on a regular basis and had nearly gone through with my plans several times. When I began my healing journey, I decided to live, to reach out, to get help and that is why I work so hard to spread this message to other survivors of abuse. Do not ever give up! Stay alive! Get help! Reach out! Do not be destroyed by the past abuse, because that allows the abusers to win the fight! I decided to live and to win this fight!
Christmas 1972, Rob was 21 years old, I had just turned 8 years old. This is the last month I would be a virgin. My brother Rob began to sexually abuse me January 1973 to October 1973.
All of the shows I did on Blog Talk Radio are in a sequence and topically, I was progressing through issues and material in order. You can look at the lists under the AUDIO BLOG tab to view the progression of each of my audio series of shows if you want to listen to them in order. My "Guest" shows and "My Book Readings" can be viewed by clicking the links below under "Categories".
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I want to thank everyone for tuning in and supporting my work through the years! As always I continue to place a warning on my shows dealing with Child Abuse Prevention and Adult Survivor Issues, please LISTEN AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION! IF YOU ARE UNDER AGE AND OR SENSITIVE TO THE TOPIC AND ISSUES SURROUNDING CHILD ABUSE OF ANY TYPE, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SEXUAL ASSAULT, SEXUAL EXPLOITATION AND ANY RELATED TOPICS TO VIOLENCE, PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS SHOW. WE ARE ALL RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR OWN CHOICES. MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR YOURSELF. THANK YOU! Human rights advocate, child rights advocate! Promoter of human rights for men, women, and children. I am not a professional counselor or a professional legal adviser and I have no professional certificates in these fields. This is not a professional show. The information and resources on these shows is from the web, and the accuracy is only as accurate as the originator's material was. Please make the right decision for yourself and listen at your own discretion. Minors and under age children must have parental/adult consent to listen to my shows in order that they stay protected at all times. Please have an adult listen to the material first so they can help you with the decision as to whether you should be listening to my shows or not depending on age appropriateness. Child Safety and Protection is my first priority. Thank you!